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I would slap you, but that would be animal abuse.
I didn’t give a fuck. Then I drank RedBull, now I don’t give a flying fuck.
Some people are like a bag of pampers… Self absorbed and full of shit.
Sometimes you need to piss people off to hear what those fuckers really think about you.
God must love stupid people. He made so many.
While you’re talking behind my back feel free to bend down and kiss my ass.
MEN ARE THE BEST COOKS because with two eggs, one sausage, and a little bit of milk he can fill a girl’s tummy for nine months.
Remember, Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.
You can cunt on me. One missing letter can destroy friendships.
The only thing my ex hasn’t fucked is off.