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People say love is the best feeling. But I think finding a toilet when you are having diarrhea is better.

People say love is the best feeling…

If you’re happy and you know it it’s your meds.

If you’re happy…

Nothing inspires the words "fuck off", like someone asking me to watch my language.

Nothing inspires the words…

We squint at the sun because it’s bright. We squint at people because they’re not.

We squint at the sun…

OH YOU HATE ME? Join the club! They are weekly meeting at the corner of fuck you street and kiss my ass blvd.

OH YOU HATE ME?…

Why do people say “grow some balls”? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding. – Betty White

Why do people say…

I’m sorry dear, in order to insult me, I must first value your opinion. Nice try though.

I’m sorry dear…

I don’t know if social media has ever made the lame to walk, but it has beyond doubt enabled the dumb to talk.

I don’t know if social media…

SWEARING. Because sometimes "gosh darn" and "meanie head" just don't cover it.

SWEARING…

Over time, I’ve mastered the art of saying “Fuck off” just by looking at someone.

Over time…