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Drunk

One woman’s piece of shit ex boyfriend is some drunk slut’s prince charming.

One woman’s…

I make bad decisions when I'm drunk but the sober ones haven't been that great either.

I make bad decisions…

Me blacking out when I’m drunk is God’s way of telling me that what I do when I drink is none of my business.

Me blacking out…

Honestly, drunk me is just regular me except twice as honest and 10 times as horny.

Honestly…

If at first you don’t succeed go get drunk and tell everyone to fuck themselves.

If at first you don’t succeed…

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love getting drunk and eating everything.

I wish I loved exercise…

A drunk mouth speaks a sober mind.

A drunk mouth…

Crying about a broken heart all day is childish. Get drunk and set shit on fire, like an adult.

Crying about a broken heart…

Being drunk is a good disguise. I drink so I can talk to assholes. This includes me. - Jim Morrison

Being drunk…

I don’t get drunk. I just get less classy and more fun.

I don’t get drunk…