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Drunk

Don’t ever make me choose between alcohol and you. I will miss you when I’m drunk.

Don’t ever make me…

I have never seen an alcohol company using a drunk person for any advertising. Are they ashamed of their customers?

I have never seen…

You’re not drunk until you have to grab onto the grass to keep from falling of the earth.

You’re not drunk…

A drunk tongue is an honest one in my opinion. - Adele

A drunk tongue…

The difference between booze and weed? Five drunk people will start a fight. Five stoned people will start a band.

The difference…

One woman’s piece of shit ex boyfriend is some drunk slut’s prince charming.

One woman’s…

I make bad decisions when I'm drunk but the sober ones haven't been that great either.

I make bad decisions…

Me blacking out when I’m drunk is God’s way of telling me that what I do when I drink is none of my business.

Me blacking out…

Honestly, drunk me is just regular me except twice as honest and 10 times as horny.

Honestly…

If at first you don’t succeed go get drunk and tell everyone to fuck themselves.

If at first you don’t succeed…