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I'm not sure how you have your foot in your mouth, head in your ass, and nose in my business. Yet here we are you fucking wizard.

I’m not sure how…

You should wear a condom on your head. Because If you are going to act like a dick, you might as well dress like one.

You should wear…

When a man is trying to make a decision, it’s often a struggle between his head and his heart. Then his penis walks in and says, “relax guys, I got this”.

When a man is trying…

You might see me laughing, joking and trying to be happy but truth is my head has been in a fucked up place for months. I stay positive tho.

You might see me laughing…

I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then a voice in my head says "Haha good one!", and we laugh and laugh and take a nap.

I wake up everyday…

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

I get most of my exercise…

I may look like I’m doing nothing but in my head I’m quite busy.

I may look like…

Some people are like prawns. No guts, no spine and a head full of shit, but market value is always high.

Some people are…

If thought bubbles appeared above my head, I’d be screwed.

If thought…

At times, I’am grateful that thoughts don't appear in bubbles over our heads.

At times, I’am grateful…