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Guess who got their life together! Not me, but someone somewhere probably did.
If life gives you lemons, add vodka.
Turn off your feelings sometimes, life is better when you don’t give a fuck.
When life shuts a door… open it again. It’s a door. That’ how they work.
Single, because why let someone else ruin your life when you’re perfctly capable of doing it on your own.
My life is just a series of WTF moments separated by snacks.
Be the worst you can be: Life is too long for patience and virtue.
Doing crazy shit is what makes life worth living.
I wish my life had background music so I could understand what the hell is going on.
Sometimes you look like shit. Sometimes you feel like shit. Get over it. That’s life.