Life

Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television. – David Letterman

By replacing your morning coffee with green tea, you can lose up to 87% of what little joy you still have left in your life.

I’m sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It’s just been too intelligent to come here. – Arthur C. Clarke

Sometimes God sends an ex back into your life to see if you are still stupid.

I am currently experiencing life at the speed of 15 WTF’s per hour.

Life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how much money you have.

I tried to be normal once… worst two minutes of my life.

There are people in life you could never get tired of hitting with a shovel.

When life gives you lemons, freeze them and throw them as hard as you can at the people making your life difficult.

My whole life consists of wondering whether or not to make the sarcastic comment.