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At this point in my life I am positive some people were put on this earth to test my alcohol tolerance level.

At this point in my life…

If you hate yourself, remember that you are not alone. A lot of other people hate you too.

If you hate yourself…

There are two types of people in this world: People you want to drink with and people who make you want to drink.

There are two types…

The key to getting along with people is to either lower your expectations or learn to drink.

The key to getting along…

Immature: A word used by boring people to describe fun people.

IMMATURE…

I suffer from that disorder where I speak the truth and it pisses people off.

I suffer from that disorder…

Throw lamps at people who need to lighten the fuck up.

Throw lamps at people…

Sometimes I enjoy when people stop being friends with me. It's like the garbage took itself out.

Sometimes I enjoy…

People hate the truth. Unfortunately for them, the truth doesn't give a shit.

People hate the truth…

Some people are the human version of period cramps.

Some people…