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People

Some people are like clouds. Once they fuck off, it’s a beautiful day!

Some people…

Some people you know were dropped on their heads as babies. Some were clearly thrown in the air, hit the ceiling fan, bounced off the wall and fell out of the window.

Some people you know…

If you’re having a bad day, just remember that there are people that have their ex’s name tattooed on their body.

If you’re having a bad day…

All I attract is broken people. Lord, if I’m mechanic just say that.

All I attract…

People say “go big or go home”, as if going home were a bad thing. Hell yeah I wanna go home. And I’m gonna take a nap when I get there.

People say “go big…

Some people age like wine. Others age like milk.

Some people age like wine…

I swear some people need a stamp on their forehead that says "DO NOT REPRODUCE".

I swear…

When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it. - Bernard Bailey

When they discover…

I drink to make other people more interesting. - Ernest Hemingway

I drink to make…

I wouldn't have to manage my anger if people could learn to manage their stupidity.

I wouldn’t have to manage…