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Person

No matter how good of a person you are, you're the asshole in someone’s story.

No matter how good…

Sometimes being “The Better Person” is like being the “Pooper Scooper”; you may not want to do it but it has to be done.

Sometimes being “The Better Person…

You may think I’m a horrible person but deep deep down I’m even worse.

You may think I’m a horrible…

I am a niceperson once you stop trying to get to know me.

I am a niceperson…

You shouldn't have to change yourself for anyone. The right person will love you for the cunt you are.

You shouldn’t…

Turns out I am not an afternoon person either.

Turns out…

Look, I'm a nice person, but I'm not here to take your shit.

Look, I’m a nice person…

Am I a good person? No. But do I try to make myself better every day? Also, No.

Am I a good person?…

A negative person sees the glass of water as half empty. A positive person sees it as half full. A realistic person adds two shots of whiskey, two cubes of ice and says "cheers".

A negative person…

I am pretty nice person, but I also realize that if there were an asshole championship, I would place respectfully in my weight division.

I am pretty nice person…