Person

Look, I'm a nice person, but I'm not here to take your shit.

Look, I’m a nice person…

Am I a good person? No. But do I try to make myself better every day? Also, No.

Am I a good person?…

A negative person sees the glass of water as half empty. A positive person sees it as half full. A realistic person adds two shots of whiskey, two cubes of ice and says "cheers".

A negative person…

I am pretty nice person, but I also realize that if there were an asshole championship, I would place respectfully in my weight division.

I am pretty nice person…

I do try to be a good person. But then someone pulls out in front of me doing ten below the speed limit and I just have to try again tomorrow.

I do try to be a good person…

I’m a very private person. You don't ask I don't tell. Actually, even if you ask. Mind your business.

I’m a very private person…

Never underestimate a person’s ability to disappoint you.

Never underestimate…

The shit you heard about me might be true, but then again it might be as fake as that person who told you.

The shit you heard…

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realising the other person was born an idiot.

Sometimes the first step…

I’m so polite but I’m also the rudest person ever. Like, I’ll hold the door for you and you’ll be thinking I’m actual sweetheart when in reality I’m thinking “Hurry up, stupid”.

I’m so polite…