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Half of my problems are caused by my tone of voice and sarcasm. Everyone thinks I'm either mad, arguing or just an asshole. While actually, I’m just talking.

Half of my problems are caused by my tone of voice and sarcasm. Everyone thinks I’m either mad, arguing or just an asshole. While actually, I’m just talking.

I wish running from my problems would burn calories.

I wish running from my problems would burn calories.

You are a child of the Universe. Problem is, the Universe is a deadbeat dad.

You are a child of the universe. Problem is, the universe is a deadbeat dad.

Mo' money, no problems. No money, mo' problems.

Mo’ money, no problems. No money, mo’ problems.

There is no problem so big you can’t run away from it. - Charles M. Schulz

There is no problem so big you can’t run away from it. – Charles M. Schulz

If your coffee order is more than four words, you are part of the problem.

If your coffee order is more than four words, you are part of the problem.

'You are what you eat.' The fuck??? When did I eat anxiety and back problems?

‘You are what you eat.’ The fuck??? When did I eat anxiety and back problems?

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my sofa, play on my phone and ignore them. Like an adult.

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my sofa, play on my phone and ignore them. Like an adult.

The problem with opinions is that even idiots are allowed to have them.

The problem with opinions is that even idiots are allowed to have them.

All men like to think they're marrying nymphomaniacs. The problem is, after a few years the nympho leaves and the maniac stays.

All men like to think they’re marrying nymphomaniacs. The problem is, after a few years the nympho leaves and the maniac stays.