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Remember

If you don’t like me, remember that it’s Mind over Matter. I don’t mind and you don’t fucking matter.

If you don’t like me…

“How sexually active are you?” Very, life fucks the shit out of me and I don't remember the safe word.

“How sexually active are you?”…

Take a deep breath and remember who the fuck you are.

Take a deep breath…

I’m one of a fucking kind. Remember that.

I’m one of a fucking kind…

No matter how stupid you feel remember, Little Red Riding Hood couldn't figure out a talking wolf in drag wasn’t her grandmother.

No matter how stupid…

When people cut you down or talk behind your back, remember, they took time out of their pathetic lives to think about you.

When people cut you down…

When you are feeling powerless just remember, a single one of your turds can shut down an entire water park.

When you are feeling powerless…

Next time you're feeling down remember life is all about perspective. I have a friend who has sex 2-3 times a day, exercises twice a day, reads two books a week yet every day he complains about how much he hates prison.

Next time you’re feeling…

Remember that time we came to work and were excited? Me neither.

Remember that time…

Try to remeber, the greener grass across the fence may be due to a septic tank issue.

Try to remeber…