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Someone

I can’t call someone a dumb fuck at work. So instead I say “walk me through your thought process”.

I can’t call someone…

It sucks when you think someone is dope and they turn out to be baking soda.

It sucks…

Look, someone’s gotta be the weirdest person in any given social group and it might as well be me.

Look, someone’s gotta be…

If you really can’t stand someone, let them 100$. Chances are you’ll never see them again.

If you really can’t stand…

Whenever I tell someone where I live and they say, “OMG that’s so far” I’m like calm down I’m not inviting you.

Whenever I tell someone…

I talk an awful lot of smack for someone who tips over when putting on their underwear.

I talk an awful lot of smack…

It is OK to take a break from a kindness to remind someone they got you fucked up.

It is OK…

I think someone out there has a voodoo doll of me and is forcing it to make bad life decisions.

I think someone out there…

Love is spending the rest of your life with someone you want to kill and not doing it because you’d miss them.

Love is…

Why yes, I do smile a little when karma pays a visit to someone who so desperately deserves it.

Why yes…