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Someone

It only takes a second to show someone how you feel about them. Police call it indecent exposure, but whatever.

It only takes a second…

Someone is out there holding their breath waiting for you to fail. Make sure they suffocate.

Someone is out there…

Eat whatever you want, and if someone tries to lecture you about your weight, eat them too.

Eat whatever you want…

When someone calls me sweet I laugh inside because they clearly have no clue who the fuck I am.

When someone calls me…

Marriage is finding that special someone you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Marriage is…

Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sound of their chewing because that's the soundtrack to the rest of your life.

Before marrying someone…

Guess who got their life together! Not me, but someone somewhere probably did.

Guess who got their life together…

You don’t really truly know someone until you get ridiculously drunk with them.

You don’t really truly know…

You're everything I've ever wanted in someone I don't want anymore.

You’re everything…

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

You know that…