Stress

Thou shalt not stress over the opinion of an irrelevant little bitch.

Thou shalt not stress…

Orgasms are one of the healthiest forms of stress release. So if I tell you to go fuck yourself it’s because I care.

Orgasms…

Stress is caused by giving a fuck. Therefore, I wish I could exchange my heart for a liver, so I can drink more and care less.

Stress…

To all the adults using colouring books for stress relief, grow the fuck up and get drunk like the rest of us.

To all the adults…

Stop stressing over shitty people.

Stop stressing…

STRESS: SHIT TO REMEMBER EVERY SINGLE SECOND

STRESS…

Idiots cause stress. Stress causes depression. Depression causes physical ailments. Conclusion: Stupid people make me sick.

Idiots cause stress…

Stress balls really work when you shove them down someone's throat.

Stress balls really work…

Some people handle stress with yoga, meditation and long walks. I handle it with sarcasm, beer and telling people to fuck off.

Some people handle stress…

My doctor told me to start killing people. Well not in those exact words. He said I had to reduce stress in my life. Same thing.

My doctor told me…