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Cynical Quotes

If I said something to offend you, please tell me. I may want to use it again.

If I said something…

Opinions are like orgasms… mine matters most and I really don’t care if you have one. - Sylvia Plath

Opinions are like orgasms…

I am so tired of people telling me, “do what makes you happy”. Everything that would make me happy is illegal.

I am so tired…

Dream Big, Set Goals. Write goals on a nice paper and never look at them again.

Dream Big…

By replacing your morning coffee with green tea, you can lose up to 87% of what little joy you still have left in your life.

By replacing…

The world would be a better place if everyone would just shut the fuck up for two seconds and chill.

The world would be…

Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parents’ job.

Don’t be ashamed…

Those who doubt your ability probably have a valid reason.

Those who doubt…

People are really great as long as you don’t get to know them.

People are really great…

Perseverance is the ability to think you’re not an idiot despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

Perseverance…