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Cynical Quotes

Love conquers all, except for herpes.

Love conquers all…

If you can’t handle me at my WORST unfortunately that’s also my BEST.

If you can’t handle me…

Not sure if I hate everyone because they’re assholes or if I’m an asshole because I hate everyone.

Not sure…

Every dead body on Mt. Everest was once a highly motivated person, so… maybe calm down.

Every dead body on Mt. Everest…

If you changed everything about you, I’d love you just the way you are.

If you changed…

I’ll get coffee with you but only because I love coffee.

I’ll get coffee…

You're everything I've ever wanted in someone I don't want anymore.

You’re everything…

Dream Small. It’s your only hope for success, really

Dream Small…

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

You know that…

I’m sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It’s just been too intelligent to come here. - Arthur C. Clarke

I’m sure…