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Cynical Quotes

Sarcasm. Because murder charges are expensive

Sarcasm…

You thank God daily, but have you ever once heard a ‘You’re welcome’?

You thank God daily…

You are a child of the Universe. Problem is, the Universe is a deadbeat dad.

You are a child of the universe…

Flattery – if you want to get to the top, prepare to kiss a lot of the bottom. - Larry Kersten

Flattery…

Patience is like a toilet roll – the bigger asshole you are dealing with, the quicker it runs out.

Patience…

TEAMWORK: A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction. - Justin Sewell

TEAMWORK…

To be old and wise, you must first be young and stupid.

To be old and wise…

I would like to apologize to anyone I have not yet offended. Please be patient. I will get to you shortly.

I would like to apologize…

Marriage. Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

Marriage…

If you give up on your dreams that may free up some time to get some actual stuff done.

If you give up…