Cynical Quotes

I bet the first guy who threw shit into a fan never knew what an incredible legacy he would leave.

I bet the first guy…

People who talk shit will be reincarnated as toilet paper.

People who talk shit…

Girls always say they appreciate the little things in life, until you whip out your little penis.

Girls always say…

Follow your brain. Your heart is stupid as shit.

Follow your brain…

I’m not anti-social, I’m anti-idiot.

I’m not anti-social…

Lord, please give me patience because if you give me strength I’ll need bail money too.

Lord, please give me…

Some people are such treasures that you want to bury them.

Some people…

Life is all about ass. You’re either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, busting it, trying to get a piece of it, behaving like one, or living with one.

Life is all about ass…

I hide behind sarcasm because telling you to go fuck yourself is considered rude in most social situations.

I hide behind sarcasm…

Have you ever just agreed with someone so they would shut the hell up?

Have you ever…