Cynical Quotes

Everything happens for a reason and sometimes the reason is that you are stupid and made a bad decision.

Everything happens…

Sometimes life will fuck you and you’ll just have to change positions and find a way to enjoy it.

Sometimes life will fuck you…

Forget about the zombie apocalypse, it’s never gonna happen. Worry about the dumbass apocalypse, it’s already upon ass.

Forget about…

I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow doesn’t look good either.

I can only please…

From the moment I saw you, I knew I was gonna spend the rest of my life avoiding you.

From the moment…

If a woman tells you that you’re right, that’s called sarcasm.

If a woman tells…

I’m not a gynecologist, but I know a cunt when I see one.

I’m not a gynecologist…

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

I believe…

Life is about saying “FUCK IT” to those who matter, and “FUCK YOU” to those who don’t.

Life is…

Do you ever meet someone and think dumbass, then listen to them and think bloody fucking dumbass?

Do you ever meet someone…