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Funny Quotes

Being drunk is a good disguise. I drink so I can talk to assholes. This includes me. - Jim Morrison

Being drunk…

Love is a weird thing, like you just pick a human and you’re yes, I like this one, I’ll let this one ruin my life forever.

Love is a weird thing…

Having a girl as a friend is like having a chicken as a pet. Sooner or later you're going to want to eat her.

Having a girl as a friend…

I don’t get drunk. I just get less classy and more fun.

I don’t get drunk…

I believe in karma. That means I can do bad things to you all day long and assume you deserve it. - Scott Adams

I believe in karma…

Let’s get drunk, make mistakes and blame it on the alcohol.

Let’s get drunk…

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it’s not gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

Just because it’s a bad idea…

Forget about prince charming. Go for the wolf. He can see you better, hear you better, and eat you better.

Forget about prince charming…

I’m not always right, but when I am it’s usually all the time.

I’m not always right…

Single girls, please stop saying you should give up and get a cat. If no man wants you, please don’t force an innocent cat to live with you.

Single girls, please stop…