Throw lamps at people who need to lighten the fuck up.
Sometimes I enjoy when people stop being friends with me. It's like the garbage took itself out.
When karma comes back to punch you in the face, I wanna be there just in case it needs help.
When one door closes, sometimes you want to get a hammer and nails to make sure that bitch stays shut.
I don't have trust issues. I just think most people are full of shit.
I would slap you, but that would be animal abuse.
Some people are like a bag of pampers... Self absorbed and full of shit.
God must love stupid people. He made so many.
TO ANYONE I HAVE EVER HURT, BLOWN OFF, JUDGED, DISRESPECTED ETC... you probably deserved that shit now fuck off.
Sometimes I wish I was a bird... so I could fly over certain people and shit on their heads.
Remember, Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
If you don't have anything nice to say, say it anyway. Motherfuckers need to hear some truth.
You remind me of my Chinese friend... Ug Lee.
Do you ever see a person you used to be friends with and you're like "glad I got the fuck outta that one"?
FUCK FACE: A person with a face that instantly pisses you off the moment you see it. and you have to fight an incredible urge to smash him or her in the mouth.
Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.
You talk so much shit. I don't know whether to offer you a breath mint or toilet paper.
The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.
Good morning to some of you... Fuck you to the rest.
You have one advantage over me. You can kiss my ass and I can't.
I'm polite with good manners, but bitch don't push me.
People are assholes. Just make sure you're not the toilet paper.
I don't want something really bad to happen to you, but if a bird shit on you, that would be fine.
Your flexibility amazes me. How do you get your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass all at the same time?
I swear some people must have been conceived through anal sex. There is no way being that much of an asshole is natural.