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A penny for your thoughts seems a little pricey.

A penny for your thoughts…

Be careful whose toes you step on today because they might be connected to the foot that kicks your ass tomorrow.

Be careful…

Just because you have a beard, it doesn’t mean you’re a man. Vaginas can grow hair too.

Just because you have a beard…

My life would be so much easier if I wasn't intelligent enough to realize how fucking stupid some people are.

My life would be…

Please don’t confuse my ability to smile / be friendly as a sign of weakness. I keep my integrity intact because my ability to crush you verbally and emotionally quite shocking.

Please don’t confuse…

You remind me of a software update. Whenever I see you, I usually think "Not now".

You remind me…

WARNING! I have restless leg syndrome and may not be able to stop myself from kicking your ass.

WARNING!…

I saw a car with a bumper sticker saying, “I am a vet, therefore I drive like an animal”. Suddenly I realised how many gynecologists there are on the road.

I saw a car…

Just when I thought the limit of stupidity was set, some idiot raises the bar.

Just when I thought…

I wear all black to remind you notto mess with me, because I’m already dressed for your funeral.

I wear all black…