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I used to care what people thought about me, until one day, I tried to pay my bills with their opinions.

I used to care what people thought about me, until one day, I tried to pay my bills with their opinions.

I love making people who don’t like me hate me more by just being me.

I love making people who don’t like me hate me more by just being me.

Don’t worry about what people think. They don’t do it very often.

Don’t worry about what people think. They don’t do it very often.

Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app they will start using it?

Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app they will start using it?

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak. – Alan Dundes

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak. – Alan Dundes

Life would be easier if you could mark people as spam.

Life would be easier if you could mark people as spam.

My doctor told me to start killing people. Well not in those exact words. He said I had to reduce stress in my life. Same thing.

My doctor told me to start killing people. Well not in those exact words. He said I had to reduce stress in my life. Same thing.

Some people are like old TVs. They need to be slapped a few times to get fucking picture.

Some people are like old TVs. They need to be slapped a few times to get fucking picture.

I can’t go around murdering people, so my hilarious put dows will have to do.

I can’t go around murdering people, so my hilarious put dows will have to do.

If you love someone let them go. If you hate someone let them go. Basically let everyone go. People are stupid.

If you love someone let them go. If you hate someone let them go. Basically let everyone go. People are stupid.