I didn't turn into an asshole overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.
Who need drugs when human emotions can fuck you up just the same.
Stop saying “everything happens for a reason” when you fuck up! Shit happens because you let it.
Troubles are like dicks. Everybody thinks they got the biggest.
I don't have a problem with anger. I have a problem with idiots.
For the amount of shit I've been through, I really have a beautiful soul.
If you don't like the word cunt, then don't act like a cunt, and you won't be called a cunt. Ya cunt.
Be nice, but not too nice. The world will FUCK YOU otherwise.
Is FUCKTASTROPHY a word? Because I feel it could be useful.
Have you noticed that the people with verbal diarrhea are often the people with crap for brains?
EVERYONE’S FUCKED UP. You just gotta figure out what kind of fucked up you’re into.
Don't trip over bitches, walk over them.
I am a nice person. Just don't push the asshole button.
I may not be much help in telling you what works. But I sure have fucked up enough to tell you what doesn't.
Being an adult is like looking both ways before crossing the street and then getting hit by fucking airplane.
I have 3 moods: IDK, IDC, IDGAF.
You think everyone has the same heart as you, and that's what's going to fuck you up.
Every evening when I tell my boss "Have a good night", what I really saying is "Go fuck yourself".
I've learned a lot of great lessons from a few fucked up people.
How many times do I have to say "excuse me" before "get the fuck out of my way" becomes acceptable?
Pretty sure I’ve spent about a third of my life saying "What the fuck is wrong with people".
I am much nicer if you don't get to know me.
Never try to fuck up someone's life with the lie when yours can be destroyed with the truth.
opinions are like farts, everyone else’s stinks, they are hard to hold in and when you let one go, at least one person will leave the room