Sarcastic Quotes

The word of today is BULLSHIT. No need to spread the word, there is plenty of it going around.

The word of today…

I am sorry, I didn't realize that you're an expert on my life and how I should live it. Please continue while I take notes.

I am sorry…

Just be you, and if people don't like it, well fuck them.

Just be you…

The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, doesn't swear, doesn't get angry, doesn't exist.

The ideal man…

Life is so much easier when you just don't give a shit.

Life is so much easier…

Every damn day I ask the same three questions. What the fuck is wrong with people? What the fuck was I thinking? Where the fuck is my drink?

Every damn day…

Don't talk to me about shit that happened when I was drunk. "Drunk me" and "Sober me" are not on speaking terms.

Don’t talk to me…

Revenge is beneath me. Accident however will happen.

Revenge is beneath me…

Just because I swear doesn't mean I don't have manners. I say "please" when I tell someone to fuck off.

Just because I swear…

The more I get to know certain people... The more I realize why Noah only let animals board the ark.

The more I get to know…