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Don’t like me? Have a seat with the rest of the bitches waiting for me to give a fuck.
Nobody dies a virgin. Life fucks us all. – Kurt Cobain
I love being me. It pisses off all the right people.
Maybe it’s not life that sucks. Maybe it’s just the people you let in your life that suck.
Being single is lonely. Being in a relationship is stressful. Just talking to people is fucking annoying. You really can’t win.
ALCOHOL! Because no great story ever started with someone eating a salad.
Can you die from constipation? I’m a little worried with how full of shit some people are.
Before you speak, listen. Before you act, think. Before you give up try. Before you take a shit, make sure there is toilet paper.
Mirrors don’t lie. And lucky for you they don’t laugh either.
Listen, smile, agree. And then do whatever the fuck you were gonna do anyway. – Robert Downey Jr.