Vulgar Quotes

Without nipples, boobs would be pointless.

Without nipples…

Never trust anyone who spells gonorrhea right on the first try.

Never trust…

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. When life is a bitch beer is a must.

Ashes to ashes…

When things seem especially rough just ask yourself “did I just shit my pants today?” and if the answer is no, you’re doing alright.

When things seem…

I don’t always act my age, but when I do, I’m bored as fuck.

I don’t always act my age…

I beg your pardon: Polite way of saying "what the fuck did you just say".

I beg your pardon…

My swear jar could finance the fucking space program.

My swear jar…

If you keep sucking ass… sooner or later you’re gonna eat shit.

If you keep sucking ass…

BOOBS. Absolute proof that a man can in fact concentrate on two things at the same time.

BOOBS…

The bigger the dick the smaller the penis.

The bigger the dick…