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Fart

Women only fart in front of men they love. If you haven’t heard her fart, you don’t have her heart.

Women only fart…

It’s better to be an old fart than it is to be a young shit head.

It’s better to be…

I just farted. That’s as close to a giving a shit as you going to get.

I just farted…

When love is real the farts don't matter.

When love is real…

I don’t have brain farts. My brain completely shits its pants from time to time.

I don’t have brain farts…

Opinions are like farts, everyone has them, no one wants to hear anyone else’s, and most of them stink. Except mine. Mine smell like roses.

Opinions are like farts…

Three things to remember when you get older: never pass up a bathroom, never waste a hard-on, and never trust a fart.

Three things to remember…

Imagine how cool it would be if we lost weight every time we farted.

Imagine how cool…

opinions are like farts, everyone else’s stinks, they are hard to hold in and when you let one go, at least one person will leave the room

Opinions…

Most of the time... when you're crying, nobody notices your tears. Most of the time... when you're worried, nobody feels your pain. Most of the time... when you're happy, nobody sees your smile. But when you fart just one time...

Most of the time…