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Fart

Nothing is scarier than attempting the first fart after having diarrhea.

Nothing is scarier…

If you fart while wearing a thong, does it whistle?

If you fart…

Women only fart in front of men they love. If you haven’t heard her fart, you don’t have her heart.

Women only fart…

It’s better to be an old fart than it is to be a young shit head.

It’s better to be…

I just farted. That’s as close to a giving a shit as you going to get.

I just farted…

When love is real the farts don't matter.

When love is real…

I don’t have brain farts. My brain completely shits its pants from time to time.

I don’t have brain farts…

Opinions are like farts, everyone has them, no one wants to hear anyone else’s, and most of them stink. Except mine. Mine smell like roses.

Opinions are like farts…

Three things to remember when you get older: never pass up a bathroom, never waste a hard-on, and never trust a fart.

Three things to remember…

Imagine how cool it would be if we lost weight every time we farted.

Imagine how cool…