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Women don’t fart. They do however shoot tiny puffs of glitter, that sound like a unicorn’s laughter and smell like rainbows.
Think old and you'll be old. Think young and you'll be a delusional old fart.
The biggest step in any relationships isn’t the first kiss. It is the first fart.
opinions are like farts, everyone else’s stinks, they are hard to hold in and when you let one go, at least one person will leave the room
Opinions are like farts. Just because you have one inside you, doesn't mean you need to let it out.
Never trust a girl who doesn't fart. Hard telling what else she's holding back from you.
Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine, into your brain, and that's where shitty ideas come from.
Most of the time... when you're crying, nobody notices your tears. Most of the time... when you're worried, nobody feels your pain. Most of the time... when you're happy, nobody sees your smile. But when you fart just one time...
Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, then it's probably shit.
Love is cuddling until you fall asleep together... Even though you know he farts in his sleep... All damn night.
If people are talking behind your back, then just fart.
If I wanted to listen to an asshole, I would fart.