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Life

Three stages of life: 1. Birth, 2. What the fuck is this, 3. Death

Three stages of life…

Once a girl takes off her bra, don’t ask her to do shit. She’s clocked out from life.

Once a girl…

It’s better to have loved and lost than to live with a piece of shit that makes you miserable the rest of your life.

It’s better…

I really hope my life doesn’t flash before my eyes when I die. There’s some shit I’d rather not see again.

I really hope…

Life hack: you can’t do anything wrong if you don’t do anything at all.

Life hack…

Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school. - George Carlin

Life gets really simple…

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

Life is short…

Oh my lifestyle offends you? Go hold your breath until I give a damn.

Oh my lifestyle offends you?…

Why is life testing me so hard lately? I mean I will survive but damn give me a fucking break.

Why is life testing me…

When people suck the life out of you, wouldn’t it be nice if they took some fat too?

When people suck…