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You’re never too old to try something stupid.
You know you are drunk when you put your food in the microwave and enter your pin number.
You can be stupid or you can be loud. Please don’t be both.
When you are dead, you don't know that you're dead. All of the pain is felt by others. The same thing happens when you are stupid.
When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.
When I shut my mouth and turn to walk away, it doesn't mean you won. It simply means your stupid ass isn't worth anymore of my time.
We live in the era of smart phones and stupid people.
We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid. - Benjamin Franklin
Until you work in food or retail, you have no idea the level of stupid that exist in the world.
Try not to talk so much, you’ll sound far less stupid that way. – Brandon Sanderson
To all the adults using colouring books for stress relief, grow the fuck up and get drunk like the rest of us.
There's a fine line between saying too much and saying too little. I walk that line like a drunken clown at the circus.