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You can be a good person with a beautiful spirit and still be able to tell someone to go fuck themselves when needed.
When someone calls me an “asshole” I get this warm feeling inside because my work here is done.
When people suck the life out of you, wouldn’t it be nice if they took some fat too?
Vampires are real. Everyday I meet at least one person who sucks the life out of me.
Trusting people has made me the asshole I am today.
TIP OF THE DAY: always make sure the phone is 100% hung up before you call someone an asshole.
There are two types of people who really irritate me: A drunk person when I’m sober and a sober person when I’m drunk.
Therapy is nice... But screaming FUCK at the top of your lungs for 10 seconds is a lot faster and cheaper.
The world will be a better place if you kick an asshole in the face.
The world is not full of assholes, but they are strategically placed so that you'll come across one every day. Every Fucking Day.
The only person who listens to both sides of an argument is the next door neighbor.
The only person I'm afraid is myself. That fucker is crazy.