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I love sarcasm, it's like punching people in the face, but with words.

I love sarcasm, it’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

Face | Love | Sarcasm | Words

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You remind me of a penny. Worthless, two-faced,and inside everyone's pants.
Yeah, I’m a pacifist. I’m about to pass a fist across your face.
Word of the day: EXHAUSTIPATED. Too tired to give a shit.
Women fall in love with what they hear. Men fall in love with what they see. That's why women wear makeup and men lie.
Wherever you go there is always going to be that one bitch you will feel the urge to punch in the face every time you see her.
When you're a child you make funny faces at the mirror. In middle age, the mirror gets even.
When someone says "everything happens for a reason" a fun thing to do is punch them in the face and say "this was meant to be".
Trust gets you killed, love gets you hurt, and being real gets you hated.
Treat others the way you want to be treated. Except fuckfaces. Treat them like fuckfaces.
They say swearing is due to limited vocabulary. I know thousands of words, but I still prefer “fuck off” to “go away”.
They say "do what you love and money will follow". So I ate cheesecake and drank some wine... Now I wait.
The world will be a better place if you kick an asshole in the face.