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I would slap you, but shit splatters.

I would slap you, but shit splatters.

Shit | Slap

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Your ass must get jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth.
You talk so much shit. I don't know whether to offer you a breath mint or toilet paper.
Word of the day: EXHAUSTIPATED. Too tired to give a shit.
Whoever thinks money doesn't buy happiness, transfer that shit to my account.
When I was a kid, I wanted to be older. This shit is not what I expected.
When I get mad at someone, I'm silent. Because if I speak my mind, shit is gonna get real.
What did one butt cheek say to the other? Together we can stop that shit.
We’re all being judged by someone who isn’t even close to having their own shit together.
We buy shit we don’t need, with the money we don’t have, to impress people we don’t like.
WE ARE ALL: Ugly to someone, fake to someone, stuck-up to someone, ain’t shit to someone, a loser to someone, a bitch to someone. BUT WHO THE HELL CARES. Make your money, pay your bills, take care of you and your family, and don’t worry what anyone else thinks.
We all know someone who speaks fluent shit.
Trust me, when I woke up today, I had no plans to be awesome. But shit happens.