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If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

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Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.
Your flexibility amazes me. How do you get your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass all at the same time?
Your ass must get jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth.
You look like something I drew with my left hand.
You can't always control who walks into your life. But you can control which window you throw them out of.
Yes, I've made mistakes. Life doesn't come with instructions. And if it did, I wouldn't follow them anyway.
Why is life testing me so hard lately? I mean I will survive but damn give me a fucking break.
Why do people with brains the size of peas have mouths the size of watermelons?
Whoever said the customer is always right has never worked with the public a day in their freaking life!
When your opinions can pay my bills that’s when I’ll start paying more attention to you. Till then STFU.
When people suck the life out of you, wouldn’t it be nice if they took some fat too?
When life puts you in tough situations don't say "why me" say "try me".