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You know why birds sing in the morning? Because they don't have to go to fucking work.
Whoever said the customer is always right has never worked with the public a day in their freaking life!
When your ex says "you'll never find someone like me!" Reply, "that's the point".
When someone calls me an “asshole” I get this warm feeling inside because my work here is done.
We’re all being judged by someone who isn’t even close to having their own shit together.
WE ARE ALL: Ugly to someone, fake to someone, stuck-up to someone, ain’t shit to someone, a loser to someone, a bitch to someone. BUT WHO THE HELL CARES. Make your money, pay your bills, take care of you and your family, and don’t worry what anyone else thinks.
We all know someone who speaks fluent shit.
Tomorrow's a new day and another chance to fuck things up just a little bit differently.
TOMORROW: A mystical land where 99% of all human productivity, motivation and achievement is stored.
Tomorrow isn't guaranteed. Tell someone you don't like to fuck off today.
They don’t discard you for someone better. They discard you for someone who can’t see their bullshit.
Procrastination is totally a good thing. You always have something to do tomorrow, plus you have nothing to do today.